Howdy all you Supercultists out there on the interwebz!
I’m Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “California” with a minor in “Care-Free Orphans”) and I’ll be posting my hype-tacular speeches every week along with some long lost speeches from past Supercult Shows!
From September of 2013 it’s the long lost speech for Surf Ninjas!
Johnny, an adolescent surf talent, and his brother Adam, a preadolescent video-game addict, grow up care-free in California as adopted sons of Marines veteran Mac, inseparable friends of wacky local lout Iggy. Meanwhile, Colonel Chi’s military reign of terror culminates in their tiny birth-land, island state Patu San, off the Viet Nam coast. When a former royal guards officer summons the brothers back to their homeland they discover that they are the sons of the murdered king who were raised in exile for their own safety. The brothers are now…Surf Ninjas!
Released in 1993, a few months after such movies as ‘The Sandlot’, ‘Free Willie’, and ‘Super Mario Brothers’, Surf Ninjas is a low-budget Comedy, Family Movie starring Nicholas Cowan as Adam, Ernie Reyes Jr. as Johnny, Rob Schneider as their wacky friend, Iggy, and Leslie Nielson from Naked Gun and Airplane as the evil Colonel Chi. There’s not really that much to say beyond that. This movie is a melting pot of early 90’s Californian pop-culture…and Rob Schneider. Our heroes discover that they are ninja royalty, one of the brothers uses his Game Gear to predict the future, Johnny teaches a bunch of people how to surf in a matter of seconds. There’s teen romance, bandanas, people using chopsticks as deadly weapons, and guys with eye-patches, and the mall! Ninjas! Surfing! Surfing Ninjas!…and Rob Schneider tags along while throwing out painful one-liners.
For you Supercult veterans the Ernie Reyes Jr, played Keno, the pizza delivery sidekick of the Turtles in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze.
If you pay attention to the game that Adam plays throughout the film it’s actually a Sega Game Gear, the handheld version of the Sega Master System. Basically it was Sega’s answer to the Nintendo Game Boy, which came out a year earlier. There is a real Surf Ninjas game for the Sega Game Gear, but, unfortunately, the game that Adam plays isn’t the Surf Ninjas game, it’s a game that was developed by Sega exclusively for use in the movie.
Janet Maslin of The New York Times called most of Surf Ninjas “only mindlessly watchable” and called the film “another of Hollywood’s efforts to prove that the American mall mentality is at home in any corner of the globe”. Maslin also found the film to lack in actual surfing content. Others criticized the fight scenes as “bloodless and absurd” and the movie as a whole as “little more than a succession of dudespeak, surfing, skateboarding, video games, generic rock soundtrack and strained knucklehead humor”. Still others defended the film pointing out the acrobatic chorography and the humorous delivery of Schneider’s throwaway lines.
The most positive review on Rotten Tomatoes is from Richard Harrington of the Washington Post who calls the movie, “An inoffensive slice of summertime fun.”
But what do you want? It’s a movie called Surf Ninjas! We all knew exactly what we were getting into just from the title and as far as I’m concerned this movie delivers. There are ninjas…and they surf!
Surf Ninjas has an impressive 12% on Rotten Tomatoes and a 4.4 on IMDB, but despite negative reviews, Surf Ninjas grossed 4.9 million dollars and placed 13th in box office rankings at the time. So, for your viewing pleasure, the Supercult team moto-surfed their favorite topless Jeep all the way to CALIFORNIA, to grab a copy of the best Surfing Ninja story since the Bible…what, you guys didn’t read that part?
The Supercult show proudly presents “Surf Ninjas”!