Howdy all you Supercultists out there on the interwebz!
I’m Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Amir Shervan” with a minor in “Sped-Up Fight Scenes”) and I’ll be posting my hype-tacular speeches every week along with some long lost speeches from past Supercult Shows!
This week is the second part of our end-of-semester double feature! A Nicolas Cage classic at 30,000 feet: Con Air!
The police are out-gunned and out-sword-ed by Fujiyama and the infamous Katana gang! Violence erupts in Los Angeles taking no prisoners, leaving no witnesses, and enveloped in an unbreakable ‘Code of Silence’ that prevents the authorities from bringing any charges against them. Only one man has the training, expertise, and swordsmanship needed to clean up the town. His name is Joe Marshall. They call him Samurai! But Joe must somehow strike a balance between his quest to stop the gang violence and his insatiable appetite for women. Horny nurses, legendary henchmen, sex-crazed policewomen, luscious locks, men in speedos, and an army of petty thugs…Samurai Cop reporting for duty!
Written and directed by Iranian Schlock Meister Amir Shervan, Samurai Cop was released in 1989 and stars Matt Hannon as Joe Marshall, Mark Frazer as Mark, Joe’s wisecracking black side-kick, Robert “The Face” Z’Dar as Yamashita, Melissa Moore as Peggy, Gerald Okamura as Okamura, and Joselito Recober as Mr. Fujiyama. As is the norm with Shervan’s other films like Hollywood Cop and Killing American Style, Samurai Cop is woefully obscure and for a time was nearly impossible to get a hold of. Now, after a cult film revival you can find B-Movie masterpieces like Samurai Cop and other Amir Shervan films on CinemaEpoch.com and even Amazon.com!
Samurai Cop could be loosely described as a 60-year-old Iranian millionaire hiring a bunch of non-actors to star in his 80’s American action flick, but that wouldn’t be doing it justice. It is hard to believe the level of ineptitude on display in this film. The acting is awkward and robotic, the editing and continuity are nonexistent, the dubbing is Garzy’s-Wing-Bad, and the script is 24-karat idiocy. The audience is told that Joe Marshall is a Japanese-fluent expert samurai, trained by the “Masters” of Japan. In reality he is nothing but an American, mullet-haired, fake-tanned, denim-wearing imbecile who spends the majority of the film lounging at his home wearing nothing but a black speedo or trudging around town waiting for someone to start a fight with him.
Matt Hannon, who is not credited with any other film and was supposedly a one-time bodyguard for Sylvester Stallone, plays the titular Samurai Cop. His meathead demeanor and positively wooden delivery make the fact that he’s supposed to be a top-class womanizer all the more hilarious. The combination of Hannon and the rest of the male cast inexplicably appearing in various states of shirtless-ness makes for a positively surreal audience experience that feels like a mix between a martial arts infused Lethal Weapon and badly written porno. We here at the Supercult show were surprised to find out that such a stunning example of manliness actually died in 2012 at the age of 56. Having no information on the details surrounding the Samurai Cop’s death, we can only assume that he was finally done-in by no less than 400 vengeful members of the ‘Samurai Sword’ gang.
Samurai Cop has everything the budding Supercultist would ever want in a midnight picture show: racist stereotypes, bad action sequences, hilarious dialogue, obviously sped up sword fights…FULL FRONTAL NUDITY! ComeuppanceReviews.com calls it “An awesome, one-of-a-kind movie that seems like it was made on another planet…a classic for the ages”, Listverse.com puts it at #1 in it’s Top 10 Films So Bad They Are Hilarious, Brian Lindsey of eccentric-cinema.com calls it “perhaps the most god-awful example of bungled, inept action movie filmmaking of the 1980’s…To say this film is bad is like saying the Pacific Ocean is slightly moist,” and Eduardo C from Rotten Tomatoes calls it, “Hilarious as fuck.” The only thing this film lacks is a beardless Robert Z’Dar, for it is truly a sin to camouflage such a majestic jaw with facial hair.
Samurai cop has a 4.7 on IMDB and on Rotten Tomatoes it has an audience score of 54% and no critic reviews. It’s inept, it’s pathetic, it’s a cult-classic guilty pleasure that pulls out all the stops, and it’s the second film in tonight’s Supercult Double Feature!
You have the right to remain silent…Dead Silent!
The Supercult show proudly presents: Samurai Cop!