Howdy all you Supercultists out there on the interwebz!
I’m Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Sidney W. Pink” with a minor in “Your-Ah-Niss”) and I’ll be posting my hype-tacular speeches every week along with some long lost speeches from past Supercult Shows!
This week the Supercult show takes you on a Journey to the Seventh Planet!
When Earth sends a five-man team to explore the frozen planet of Uranus, the last thing the crew expects to find is a temperate forest, a bevy of voluptuous women from their past, and, of course, a giant one-eyed rat monster! It doesn’t take long for the astronauts to realize that something foul is lurking on the Seventh Planet, and its powers prey on the crew’s minds and inner fears. Can the crew overcome their fears and desires and defend both their psyches and the Earth from this unknown threat? Your eyes will glaze, your ears will pop, and your heart will stand shock-still when you Journey to the Seventh Planet!
Starring John Agar as Captain Don Graham and Greta Thyssen as Greta, Journey to the Seventh Planet is a 1962 Science Fiction film, the statistics for which do not inspire confidence. Written and directed by Sidney W. Pink, the man who brought us classic B-movies such as ‘Reptilicus’ and ‘Pyro… The Thing Without a Face’, Journey to the Seventh Planet was filmed in Denmark with a largely Danish cast, has a run time of 77 minutes and a paltry budget of $75,000. For that amount of money you could pay for 1/2000th of How to Train Your Dragon 2 or about three seconds of The Avengers.
American Hollywood actor John Agar, who worked alongside John Wayne in several notable westerns and war films, and Greta Thyssen, a former Miss Denmark who had doubled for Marilyn Monroe and appeared opposite the Three Stooges, add a bit of box-office value to the schlock-fest. The rest of the Danish cast speak their English lines with the utmost care and deliberation, presumably to make it easier for dubbing purposes, even when context calls for excitement or haste. At times a character will breathlessly rush into a scene, take a deep breath, and deliver the dialogue ve-ry slow-ly and carefully as if worried he might startle someone if he speaks too quickly.
When officials at American International viewed the completed film, they decided that some of the Danish-produced special effects were so poor that they needed to be replaced. Two members of the independent special effects company Project Unlimited, Wah Chang and Jim Danforth (who would later work on Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971) and the Supercult classic Megaforce (1982)), shot new footage to replace some of the Danish special effects. In some cases they simply replaced Danish footage with footage from other sci-fi monster movies such as Earth vs. Spider (1958), The Angry Red Planet (1959). One of the biggest contributions was a stop-motion cyclopean rodent monster whose roar was ripped off of the Japanese monster movie Rodan (1956). Basically what this boils down to is that most, if not all, of the laughable special effects in this film are there because two guys thought that even this crap was better than what the Danes had in there before.
Everything about this movie, from the way that the astronauts avoid lowbrow humor by insisting on pronouncing the name of the planet as ‘your-ah-niss’ even though the script goes out of its way to use words like ‘pulsate’, ‘penetrate’, and of course ‘probe’, to the fact that the entire plot of the film rips off Ray Bradbury’s 1948 short story ‘Mars is Heaven!’ combines to give it an endearingly cheesy tone. Every 60’s space flick deserves a nationalistically diverse crew of white males and an equally ditsy platoon of scantily clad figments of the crew’s imagination, but you know you’ve struck cult movie gold when your gaggle of space faring, laser-toting, voltage-meter-waving astronauts grab a bunch of torches when it gets dark out.
Journey to the Seventh Planet has a 4.8 on IMDB and on Rotten Tomatoes it has no Critic Reviews and an 11% Audience rating.
Let the Supercult show take you on a journey into space! Beyond Space! In COLOR!
The Supercult show proudly presents Journey to the Seventh Planet!