Howdy all you Supercultists out there on the interwebz!
I’m Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Martial Arts Instructor Action Heroes” with a minor in “STALLONE”) and I’ll be posting my hype-tacular speeches every week along with some long lost speeches from past Supercult Shows!
This week it’s Terror in Beverly Hills!
Beverly Hills hosts a VIP shopping spree when the President’s daughter Margaret pays a visit to Rodeo Drive, but things take a, like, totally uncool turn when Abdul and his gang of Arab Terrorists turn up. With the CIA and the FBI paralyzed with incompetence the only one who can save the president’s daughter is Hack Stone, a former covert agent turned martial arts instructor whom Abdul blames for the death of his family. Can Stone save the First Daughter or will his history with Abdul be his and the country’s downfall? Just when you thought the streets were safe…it’s Terror in Beverly Hills!
Released in 1989, Terror in Beverly Hills is a 2nd rate actioner that proudly advertises it’s leading man, STALLONE! No, not that Stallone. Terror in Beverly Hills stars Frank Stallone, the younger brother of Sylvester Stallone, who is best known as a touring Grammy and Golden Globe nominated singer/songwriter rather than an actor. Among his many acolades Frank Stallone has worked with conductors Sammy Nestico and Billy May, has released several albums and singles, has appeared on numerous TV shows including The Contender, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, the sitcom Movie Stars, and is even an amateur boxer.
Sadly Terror in Beverly Hills is not one of Frank’s high points. Even considering his starting acting roles as a background singer in the Rocky films (which feel more like “Bring your brother to work day” for Sylvester Stallone than an actual role for Frank) Frank’s role as ultimate badass, Hack Stone, is quite possibly his worst performance. Event the idea that Frank ‘stars’ in this film seems to be a gross exaggeration. Frank’s character is called in as a last resort by the president when all other options fail and only does anything at the very tail end of the film as if the makers of the movie only had Frank for a couple of afternoons of shooting.
The rest of the time is spent focusing on , the incredibly scream-y First Daughter Margaret (Lysa Hayland), Terrorist Leader Abdul (Behrouz Vossoughi), the President (William Smith), Captain Stills (Cameron Mitchell), and the various FBI and CIA officials who hilariously bungle nearly every encounter with the terrorists. When Frank Stallone finally arrives on the scene he charges in imitating his brother in the Rambo films, i.e. with no extra ammunition, no protective armor, no communication gear, and without coordinating with the law enforcement already at the scene. Seeing as how there is no plot related reason for him to go in so unprepared we can only assume that Hack Stone is such a badass that all that extra baggage would only SLOW HIM DOWN.
Terror in Beverly Hills was directed by the late John Myhers, a prolific actor in shorts, television, and a few feature films such as “History of the World Part I”, and the film adaptation of “How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying”. Myhers only ventured into directing on three separate occasions and he directed Terror in Beverly Hills at the age of 68 only three years prior to his death in 1992. Is this film the result of a life spent acting rather than directing? It this the work of a senile mind riddled with dementia and smelling of tapioca? Or is it perhaps a final flip of the bird from a mischievous genius to a corrupt and artistically barren industry? My Supercult Magic 8 ball says, “Signs Point to Yes.”
Terror in Beverly Hills has a 4.6 on IMDB and has no critical reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. However, it does have an unprecedented 100% Fresh audience review on Rotten Tomatoes from 45 user ratings. IMDB User Frank St. Allone gives it 10/10 stars writing, “Greatest Movie Ever!!!…A realistic plot, slam bang effects, and the greatest and most handsome man ever to grace the screen.” It’s got action, it’s got Pepsi product placement, it’s got full frontal nudity! It’s got STALLONE! What more could you ask for?
They brought terrorism to our streets. Only one man could stop them.
The Supercult show proudly presents: Terror in Beverly Hills!