Adventures in Dinosaur City

Howdy all you Supercultists out there on the interwebz! I’m Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Chucks” with a minor in “DINOSAURS!”) and I’ll be posting my hype-tacular speeches every week along with some long lost speeches from past Supercult Shows!

This week Supercult longs for the good ol’ days when Dinosaur movies had standards while watching Adventures in Dinosaur City!

Adventures in Dinosaur City Poster

Timmy, Jamie, and Mitch just love watching their favorite dinosaur themed cartoon show at Timmy’s house while his scientist parents are away. Little do they know they are one button press away from a whole new world of fun! When the trio is zapped into their TV they must join a pair of hip anthropomorphic Dino freedom fighters and ignite a revolution against the evil Mr. Big and his cavemen henchmen! It’s a story 65 million years in the making! This is Adventures in Dinosaur City!

You gotta love a movie whose tagline is “Long before there were turtles, the world was ruled by dinosaurs.” As if the cool thing about dinosaurs is not their size, their mystery, or the fact that they’re all dead…it’s that they predate turtles.

Adventures in Dinosaur City was released in 1991, two years before Jurassic Park would make Dinosaurs cool again, and represents what would happen if bunch of out of touch grandparents tried to make a movie for their grandkids. What do the kids like these days? Dinosaurs? Leather Jackets? Cartoons? Raising roofs?? Just throw it all together and into one movie and see what happens, why don’t we?

The whole premise for this film is asinine to say the least. Timmy, the de-facto leader whose primary character trait is that he has a lot of 90’s ‘tude and wears a pair of maroon converse sneakers, Jamie, the token girl who is repeatedly harassed by every male character in the film and spends her free time writing dinosaur cartoon fan fiction, and Mick, her bland love interest, all get sucked into their favorite vague dinosaur-themed TV show. Why? Because Timmy’s genuine lab coat, rubber gloves, bow tie and suspenders, science goggles over glasses wearing inventor parents are incredibly negligent, that’s why. Only the worst type of parents run off and leave their kids unsupervised in a home filled with TRON style digitization tech. In no time the kids are teleported into a lackluster live-action version of their favorite animated TV show where the dull special effects and unimpressive set pieces serve only to make the cast’s feigned excitement all the more awkward.

Let’s be honest here. The cumulative acting experience of the cast couldn’t fill out a Lifetime original Soap Opera, the characters are shallow and uninteresting, the villain and conflict are poorly introduced and Dinosaur city, as it turns out, is sorta boring! The only saving grace is the quality of the dino characters costumes, which in of itself is a double edged sword: It can’t be a good sign for your movie when the best part is the texture quality of your hoodie wearing triceratops suit.

Only Raptor Jesus himself knows what director Brett Thompson and writer Wili Baronet were thinking when they cooked up this prehistoric dino turd. All we can do is praise his scaly hide that neither of them stayed in the movie business for long because neither has done anything since 2005.

Rotten Tomatoes user Luke Baldock writes, “Nowhere near as cool as dinosaur films should be,” which implies that there was some sort of standard quality bar for dinosaur themed films at the time. The Jim Henson Dinosaurs family sitcom wouldn’t hit the airwaves until two months AFTER this movie released, flopped, and was presumably buried in a landfill along with thousands of scrunchies, pogs, boy band albums, and other things from the 90’s we all wish we’d forgotten ever existed. If someone wanted to see a dinosaur on the big screen in 1991 they’d have to settle for the animated dinosaurs in Land Before Time (1988), wait for Jurassic Park (1993), or worse yet, wait for the Supercult Classic Theodore Rex (1995)! Let’s just say there weren’t many options to choose from. The bar was ludicrously low at the time…but that doesn’t stop Adventures in Dinosaur City from clotheslining itself on said bar.

Adventures in Dinosaur City has a 4.0 on IMDB, and on Rotten Tomatoes it has no critic score, but a 44% audience score. It’s a movie aimed at children, starring creepily sexualized teens, created by even creepier corporate middle aged idiots. In short Adventures in Dinosaur City is a prehistoric train wreck… but at least it’s a train wreck involving dinosaurs!

What’s better than an Adventure in a regular city??

The Supercult show is proud to present Adventures in Dinosaur City!

The number of fonts in this title card is too damn high!

The number of fonts in this title card is too damn high!

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