Howdy all you Supercultists out there on the interwebz! I’m Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Jazzercise” with a minor in “Not So Safe Safety Pins”) and I’ll be posting my hype-tacular speeches every week along with some long lost speeches from past Supercult Shows!
This week Supercult desperately tries to keep up with their new-years resolutions by getting pumped and watching Killer Workout!
Rhonda Johnson prides herself on the quality of her gym, Rhonda’s Workouts, where the models and athletes of Hollywood can come get a killer workout. But all hell breaks loose when a vengeful victim of a bygone tanning booth accident comes back seeking blood. The police are powerless and the hotties are dropping like flies. It’s not just murder…it’s Arobi-Cide!
Released in 1987, Killer Workout (aka Aerobi-Cide) is an American slasher film written, directed and co-produced by Supercult saint David A. Prior. Seasoned Supercultists will remember Prior for bringing us Supercult classics Deadly Prey and the sequel, Deadliest Prey along with other films like Raw Justice, Raw Nerve, Future Zone, Future Force, Night Claws, Night Wars, Zombie Wars, and Lost at War which are all totally original and have no derivative or recycled elements between them. What I’m trying to say here is that David A. Prior is that perfect mixture of crazy and genius that gets you people like Kanye West and Charlie Sheen. Prior’s films are beautiful purees of the self-indulgent, the idiotic, and the irresistibly entertaining:perfect comfort food for Supercult virgins and veterans alike.
That being said, Killer Workout is David A. Prior ground zero. Killer Workout was Prior’s first theatrical release, having only worked on direct-to-video films Killzone and Sledgehammer previously. If you’re looking for raw, unrefined Prior, look no further. Let’s go down the list shall we?
Idiotic and incompetent characters? The police detective spends half the movie stumbling from one corpse to the next trying to find the murderer and the other half failing miserably to foil the murderer’s master plan. Surprise! The plan is to murder people! That’s not to mention that Rhonda herself doesn’t even consider shutting down her health spa after half a dozen of her patrons are murdered in cold blood.
Ridiculous murder weapon? The murderer in Killer Workout uses a giant, oversized safety pin to stab their victims to death. How’s that for ironic? Saftey pins, get it?
What about busty women with big 80’s hair in skintight 80’s spandex bouncing around to embarrassingly catchy 80’s electro-pop music? Well I don’t know…Do you like jazzercising to the tune of “Only You Tonight” by former Madonna backup singer Donna De Lory? No? Well, TOO BAD!
If it wasn’t clear already, this film is batting 1,000 and has no intention of slowing down. What about gratuitous sex scenes and spandex man-thongs? What about random bearded men bouncing around alongside 40 other 20-something starlets? What about costume design that can’t decide whether Rhonda’s Workouts should be spelled with or without an apostrophe?? This movie has it all I tell ya! It even stars David A. Prior’s brother, Ted Prior, the star of the Deadly Prey series, as Chuck Dawson, a mysterious blonde dreamboat who beats people up with garden tools and has serious game with the ladies.
Killer Workout has a 4.8 on IMDB, no critic review on Rotten Tomatoes, but a 41% audience score. Rotten Tomatoes reviewer Steve K gave it 3 ½ Stars saying, “I had never heard of this low budget horror gem before, but it was completely entertaining for all of the wrong reasons. Gloriously ridiculous fun for those with an affection for this kind of thing.” It’s a downright stupid, amateur tease and sleaze. It’s a forgotten cinematic atrocity, that you’ll remember for the rest of your life!
Something very unhealthy is happening at Rhonda’s health club…
The Supercult show is proud to present, the first film of Supercult Season 14, Killer Workout, aka Aerobi-Cide!