Teen Witch

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Witchcraft” with a minor in “Love Wands”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s Teen Witch, aka, Teen Wolf but, like, with girls, ya know?

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This 1989 cinematic garbage fire is all about how high school is hell unless a creepy old lady who literally lives in the haunted house from the Thriller music video gives you magical reality bending super-powers! You know…LIFE LESSONS! Get ready to be reminded of why the 80s sucked as a nerdy, bechdel-test-failing white girl sacrifices her identity and her friendships for popularity and boys, attempts and fails to appropriate hip-hop (not from African-Americans, but from, you know, people who can actually rap), and literally erases a guy from the fabric of time and space! Seriously, she vanishes her creepy date David and he never…comes…back! Rediscover the film that cost $2.5 million to make, made just over $27,000 domestically and whose inexplicable cult status and popularity led songwriter Larry Weir to believe that “there are some pretty messed up people out there.”

Hey! Messed up people out there! Ready to take a drink every time Louise fawns over Brad, whenever Richie is shown with food, every time anyone breaks into song, anytime anyone does any magic, or whenever anyone mentions chairs?! I know I am, and I’m over 1000 miles away!
Supercult West proudly presents: Teen Witch!

 

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