Under Siege

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Tommy Lee Jones” with a minor in “Depressingly low numbers of pony-tails”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of Steven Seagal’s Under Siege!

envux-dm-zhxtgwwg-nnxg-movie-1841023564

Steven Seagal is a Supercult Saint because he is a has-been B-movie action star made of 1-part manly pony-tails, 2-parts legit martial arts, 5-parts pseudo spiritualism, and 42-parts cheesy one-liners, however, we forget that at some point in the beanie baby addled early 90s Steven Seagal was an honest-to-god action hero.

Released in 1992, Under Siege is Seagal’s zenith, both critically and financially, before he started writing most of his own movies, before he met the Dalai Lama and decided that he was a deity, and before he got FAAAAAAT.

Here are just a few of the fantastic things you have to look forward to in Under Siege:

  • eye-gouging
  • Baywatch Babe Erika Eleniak
  • references to 1980s U.S. Navy recruitment slogans
  • knife fights
  • incomprehensible one-liners
  • burning pies
  • Navy Regulation Segal Hair-lengths

  • a silly but totally awesome plot
  • Tommy Lee Jones in a bedazzled leather biker jacket making cartoon sound-effects with his mouth
  • an incredible 75% on Rotten Tomatoes
  • two Oscar Nominations for best sound and sound effects editing
  • boobs
  • Gary Busey in drag!

Need I say more Supercultists?!

Supercult West is proud to present Under Siege!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s