Hey Supercult West! Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?? (In case you can’t guess, it’s Nic Cage. The Rock is cooking Nic Cage.)
Join Supercult West for the film Steven Seagal decided needed a stripper sidekick to add some humor to the script! It’s the best goddamn Steven Seagal film ever (and that’s saying something), Under Siege!
So we got this audio recording in the mail from some kid in Bend, Oregon. I guess she wants to help us hype our film for this week. Here’s the transcript of the recording, I guess…
Dude, like, if I had Idol hands…like, my hands would win American Idol, and like, I could help out Indiana Jones, ya know? Like, you don’t have to run away from a big rock. I got your Idols right here, man!
When alien zombies try to take over the world, just run a comb through your hair, grab your electric guitar, hop on your motorcycle and remember these three words: ROCK AND ROLL!!!
What do you get when you combine Ridley Scott, National Lampoon, sexy death robots, motorized cyborg wangs, and intergalactic truckers? Probably a better movie than this…
Are you tired of martial arts films that use wires and CGI? Are you fed up with pampered actors pretending to fight? Are you sick of stunt doubles and super fake action scenes!? Then come on down to Supercult where the Muay Thai is so real it’ll set your frickin’ pants on fire!